Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
