I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Randomize
