Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
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