Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
We left the knife in your bed.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
