More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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