if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
