It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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