so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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