are you so shy because you have an std?
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Panties = found
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
