There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
