My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
