I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
