You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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