so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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