you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
