Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
