so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
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He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
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Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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