no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
We named our party play list daddy issues
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Randomize
