its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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