I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
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