and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
You need Xanax blowdarts
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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