I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
