I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
