what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
