i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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