i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
