im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
