You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
