Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Randomize
