that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
