the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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