oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
