I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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