Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
