"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
