Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
