My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
