This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
mondays should just be called national damage control day
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.