now i know why i became what i already was.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
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Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
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Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
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We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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