so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
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