it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
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Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
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Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
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