What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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