Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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