Moan for me like Helen Keller
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
