i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
