i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
