..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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