I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
