Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
