Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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