i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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