I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
