It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
