All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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