I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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