WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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