So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
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