She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
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I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
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When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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