the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Boobs speak an international language.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
