And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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