We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Floor bacon is actually really good
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
