your room smells of hookers.
And success
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
