I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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