forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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